Day 4: How not to… be THAT person.

I know we all know THAT person. Once I start describing him/her, you’ll be side-eyeing someone close by, rolling your eyes, and probably walking away from this blog, because that one memory will creep up, and will make you want to throw something. Let’s get into it.

THAT person is the one:

  • Who will ask you when you’re getting married. Time is moving!
  • Who will wonder when you’re having a child. Or why you only have one child? Or why you have so many children?
  • Who, when you happen to tell someone you bought a car, asks why you didn’t save for a house.
  • Or, when you save for a house, will tell you that buying a stand and building your own house is cheaper.
  • Who, when you post a picture of your new hairstyle/haircut, will comment and say it doesn’t suit you, why did you cut your hair, tweak the hairstyle like this or like that.
  • Who will grab the mic at your kitchen party and tell you how your husband will prioritise his car over you, so be prepared (true story.)!

I could go on and on about THAT person, but I think you get my jist. THAT person is one who gives unsolicited advice, and asks invasive questions. There’s an article I read in Psychology Today that said that those questions are sometimes a person’s attempt to connect with you.

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Source: Google

 

At first I was like… hmmm… then I was like… no. Just no.

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Source: Google

The only people who can ask me ridiculous things like the ones above are my close family and my close friends, because we know we’re being facetious when we’re doing it. When I confide in my friend that I want 7 kids, 1 kid or no kids, I know she will support me, and make fun of me in a way I appreciate. It is most uncomfortable for a distant relative or a perfect stranger to be asking me things like that. No. That’s like getting a vaginal examination from a doctor, when all you did was tell them you had a flu. NO.

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Uh-uh… NOT COOL! (Source: Google)

I’m not perfect, I almost became THAT person a few times. A group of my friends (and I), almost staged an intervention for a friend of mine because she was “too picky” when it came to men. After a few days, I was like, “Skrrrrt skrrrt! Hold up! Who staged an intervention for me when I was “picky”? How is her love life my business? Nope! Nope nope nope!” We shut it down quickly. We were almost THOSE people.

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Even the Migos are judging me right now. (Source: Google)

We know how annoying THAT person is, so here’s a few tips on how to not be THAT person yourself:

  1. If you don’t talk to them on the regular, don’t ask THOSE questions. Stick to the general “How are you?” and work from the information given.
  2. If someone posts something on social media that you feel needs your opinion… it probably doesn’t. Scroll past.
  3. If someone posts something on social media that you feel needs your opinion… it probably doesn’t. Scroll past (This is repetition for emphasis).
  4. If they ask for your advice, give it. If they don’t, then don’t.
  5. If you’re asked to speak about a person whom you know nothing about, it’s okay to say no.
  6. If you do ask one of THOSE questions and their face changes, please apologize, and refer to point number one.
  7. If you feel that you have a right to know those answers, attempt to build a close relationship with the person, then you’ll have free rein to ask THOSE questions anytime you want. Unless they still don’t want you to. Then don’t.

We have met THAT person once or twice, how was your experience? How did you handle it? Let’s hear those stories in the comments!

Until next time… your Quarter Wife.

 

 


13 thoughts on “Day 4: How not to… be THAT person.

  1. Some people’s idea of small talk is making invasive questions…… perhaps since i am sitting here being quiet they assume, I have nothing interesting to talk about so they break the ice
    ~B

    Like

  2. LawdT, someone said to me, you are pregnant AGAIN. In that judgy tone. Man keep it moving, nobody asked you about how you are under utilising your uterus lol. It’s just mad annoying when you are not that close to that person.

    Great Post!!

    Like

  3. I’m over it. Usually a small VISIBLY tight smile (so they know you’re not impressed but can’t call you impolite, ha) and going….’uhm…I’m not sure, why do you ask?’ fixes the problem no matter the original question.

    That said, I’m an oversharer of note so people don’t even have to ask prying questions 😂

    Like

  4. roger this part”if you feel that you have a right to know those answers, attempt to build a close relationship with the person, then you’ll have free rein to ask THOSE questions anytime you want. Unless they still don’t want you to. Then don’t.”

    Like

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