When I went natural in January 2015, natural hair was a new-ish phenomenon in Zimbabwe. Besides the mapostori women with their short hair, very few people wore their natural hair out. Because of that, I kept my hair in a wig for a good 2 months, and then braided it up constantly until I decided to wear my hair in a twist-out at about six months natural. Two years and 8 months later, I realised that my insecurity with my natural hair was my own, and I had to work through that. Throughout my journey, no one said anything bad about my hair (maybe it’s because they’re afraid of retaliation, you know, wrong prescription, painful injections, who knows? Or I truly do have RBF.), and it gave me time to appreciate my hair and show it off with fellow naturalistas in September.
Other ladies with natural hair are not so lucky, and they meet up with THOSE people. Today we’ll go into detail with what THAT person says regarding natural hair:
“When are you relaxing your hair?”
“I won’t get a son-in law with your hair looking like that.”
“OMG your hair is so untidy!”
“Are you having financial difficulties?”
“Is that all your hair? Lies, it’s a weave! *Unsolicited touching* Wow! When are you going to ‘fix’ it?”
Single pastors, please don’t be THAT pastor to your natural hair congregants:
“I could’ve married you, but I need a woman who doesn’t have hair like that.”
Workmates, I beg you, if their bosses haven’t fired them over their hair, then please don’t be THAT workmate:
“They let you come to work like that?”
“I don’t think your hair looks professional.”
“I will give you some money to get your hair done.”
(Side note: take the money if they offer, and then buy those products that you’ve always wanted to buy).
Today, I will give you more pointers on how not to be THAT person to a woman with natural hair:
- Do not say any of the above. If natural hair is not your thing, just smile and move on.
- Always start with, “I love your hair” if you do.
- These are the safe follow-up questions: How long have you been natural? What products do you use? How did you do the style you have?
- Please. Don’t. Touch. The. Hair. Ever. Unless you have a close relationship (refer to my last post).
- Unless you are close, do not give unsolicited advice on someone’s hair.
- Take time to learn about natural hair. Go on YouTube, Instagram, and check out the styles. It will let you understand it better.
What other piece of advice have I left out? Let’s hear them in the comments!
Until next time… your Quarter Wife.