Day 25: Am I Feminist or Womanist? It Doesn’t Matter to Me.

It does not matter really whether I’m a feminist, womanist, or whatever -ist there is until we as women can tackle this one thing: why do women dislike each other so much???

Makaitah wrote about this subject so beautifully in a post of hers, and it hit a nerve. It is so true. Women are so mean to each other. We’re busy trying to classify the “struggle”, but the glaring fault is that we are trying to one-up each other, throw each other under the bus, and find fault with each other. Always. That is not hyperbole.

For example, parenting:

Source: Google


I gave birth at home, so I’m an amazing mom. Ugh, you had a Caesar? Mm… *pursed lips*

I breastfed exclusively, so I’m an amazing mom. Ugh, you gave formula?

I stay at home and care for my kids, you work? Mm… guess you’re doing the best you can…



Relationships. We all know the main house vs small house wars *insert eye-roll here*

Source: Google

Better her than me.

Maybe if she wasn’t so fat/ugly/sloppy/lazy/frigid/holier-than-thou he wouldn’t have to step out.

Serves her right, busy showing off.


You’re a cheap whore, that’s all you are. He’s coming home to me.

*insert fights, slaps, weave-pulling here*

*Numerous death threats.*


Don’t even get me started on the mother-in-law vs daughter-in-law (amwene vs muroora), sisters-in-law fights (tete vs muroora), and wives of siblings fights (varoora vs varoora). She is new to the family, she has been brought up with different experiences, and because of that she is not good enough? Really? Frankly, why does it matter that she makes you happy? If your son/brother/husband’s brother is genuinely happy and is willing to mesh his experiences with hers, how does your life change?

We’ve seen this before haven’t we? Source: Google


The disheartening thing about woman vs woman is that it’s making money! Just like how sex sells, woman vs woman is selling nowadays. There are books on the mommy wars, how to get along with the in-laws. Even at the top of her game, Maria Sharapova is said to be selling her book on the wave of her dissing Serena’s body. Wow. Maybe her editor told her to do that, told her that it would sell more copies. The sad thing is that… the editor was right. Woman vs woman won again.

I like to imagine that they’re actually best friends, Maria sent Serena a present for her baby, and not what we see in the media. Source: Google


I could go on and on… female boss vs female employee, best friend vs best friend, sister vs sister, random woman vs random woman. If we’re not criticising each other, sizing each other up, being petty, insulting each other, gossiping about each other… we’re just making sure the next woman doesn’t shine. Is it she’s a threat? Competition? Where are the competition grounds? What are we competing for? What does the winner get?

Source: Google


So, to end my rant… I’ve realised it doesn’t really matter to me. I’m of the “Can’t we all just get along?” persuasion. Because even if we get the freedoms we want, it is really sad to think the one who may take them away, or destroy me in the end is a fellow woman. We need to fix it.

Beyoncé said it best: Okay ladies, now let’s get in formation.


Until next time… your Quarter Wife.

2 thoughts on “Day 25: Am I Feminist or Womanist? It Doesn’t Matter to Me.

  1. That was brave to take on this angle. I still don’t understand for example why if a woman catches her husband cheating she beats up the ‘sidechick’. Enjoyed the read.


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