Day 29: You’re Toxic, I’m Slipping Under

Whenever I hear the word, “toxic”, Britney Spears’ song Toxic comes to mind. Today’s topic got me listening to the song again. It’s a bit corny, but the beat is catchy, and remains one of my favourite songs from my university days.

A few lyrics caught my attention and I realised they were highlighting signs of a toxic relationship:

Baby can’t you see I’m calling?

You have to fight for their attention. Usually this happens after you did something that upsets them, and they feel they must punish you with shutting you out. They won’t talk to you, spend time with you, or acknowledge anything you do for them. You cook for them, they won’t eat; you call them, they won’t answer; you text them, they will not reply. They’ll get you to a point where you’re almost grovelling, then they’ll take you back, and act as if nothing ever happened.

You’re toxic, I’m slipping under…

Like a drug, a toxic relationship is addictive and all of a sudden all you want is your partner and nothing else. It happens in two ways: the toxic person will isolate you from your friends and family by making you doubt their loyalty. They’ll also isolate you by shutting you out if you decide to spend time with them. Done long enough, and you’ll stop seeing friends and family to keep the partner happy.

It’s getting late to give you up
I took a sip from my devil’s cup…

A toxic relationship is hard to walk out of. When your eyes are finally opened and you want to leave, the toxic partner will either guilt or threaten you into staying. The usual phrases are:

“So who do you think would love a person like you?”

“If you leave, I don’t know what I’d do.”

“If you leave, I’ll find you and I’ll kill you.”

If your self-esteem has been eroded enough by the toxic partner, you will believe all this and stay, starting the hurtful cycle all over again.

“It’s dangerous, I’m falling…”

I want to thank laurelwolfelives and her blog, especially this post that helped me understand more about toxic relationships. They are damaging, and once you get out, you need to heal before attempting another relationship.

What other signs are there? Were you ever in a toxic relationship? How did you get out? Let’s discuss in the comments.

Until next time… your Quarter Wife

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