First of all, I hate Shark Week! Hate it! Hate it! Aunt Flo is probably the worst villain of the last five thousand years (right up there with Thanos) and on top of that, she has the worst fashion sense. Baggy pants? Over-sized t-shirts? Lipstick the shade of a badly drawn unicorn? I seriously thought grandma undies were so yesterday –we in 2018 for crying out loud.
To top it off, Aunt Flo has a horrible temper. The kind that makes your Sunday school teacher cringe and your pastor lose his breath. One moment you are a ray of sunshine and the next you have walking rage *sob sob*. Every time she shows up in town, she is dressed in all black and her fangs are ready to feast on an unsuspecting victim. Does she have to make me sit on my couch on a Friday night watching the Titanic of my tear ducts sink into tears while an overrated song plays along tugging at my ice cold veins?
I am mad all right!
4 Ways You Can Enjoy Shark Week
Please don’t call your optometrist, your eyes are just fine and your reading skills are on point. And yes, you read that right-you can actually enjoy your flow. I know that time of the month can be a scorching trial but I am pretty sure you can cruise through with no bruises or burns. Here are 4 ways you can enjoy that time of the month:
Know your days
If you don’t already, start tracking your days using an app or an old-fashioned calendar. I hate surprises –the Aunt Flo kind. You can check out this post for a few period tracker apps.
I am a huge snacker on and off my period. I like to create a different period box every month filled with snacks I love, a book I want to read, nail polish (still got to look good) and chocolate.
Stock up on Products You Actually Love
Don’t buy Happy Sky if you are a Kotex loyalist. You need to be comfortable so choose a menstrual product you actually enjoy using and a brand that works for you size wise.
If you’re a reusable pad and menstrual cup kind of girl, the following places have got your back:
Mazuva brand has reusable pads as well as cloth diapers (just thought I’d throw that in there). Follow them on Twitter (@Mazuva_brand), and find out more about their products. You can also call them on 0785 812 654.
I hear most pharmacies stock the menstrual cup. It’s a bit pricey once-off, about $15, but it lasts a long time and is very cost-effective in the end.
Keep your Hot Water Bottle and your Painkillers near
Cramps are real! They can dampen your mood faster than you can say flabbergasted. Be prepared for winter –winter is coming (LOL).
What other tips do you have for us to survive… Shark Week? Let me know in the comments below.
Until next time… your Quarter Wife.